R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
