i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
