Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
from now on my penis is your penis
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
wow bdsm is so cute
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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