Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
