im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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