Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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