you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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