So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
