maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
