he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
