is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
