Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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