it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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