spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
