i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
