I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
