There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
