i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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