I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just pee around me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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