I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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