why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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