i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize