Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
