His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
