I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
