Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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