One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
