FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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