Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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