I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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