: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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