before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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