Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
