I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
