I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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