I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
