I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
