Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
