So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
