is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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