Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
