try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
