i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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