Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
