He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
