They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
