I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
