I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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