mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize