nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
