Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
