bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
