Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
