Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
