I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
