I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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