After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
