I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
